Fractured Darkness Page 6
24
Mica
Caleb went out this morning, but I wouldn't let Jace see me, I couldn't face him. He wants me to be strong, but his promises to help me aren’t proof that he actually can. I honestly don't think he knows how to. Caleb has backed off a little since last week when he raped the last of my hope for happiness from me. One of the reasons why I don't want to see Jace is because I don't want him to see me like that again, so fucking weak and helpless to do anything but take what Caleb gives me.
I’m spiraling out of control, watching my world crash around my feet into a thousand shattered pieces. A throbbing ache is my constant companion, and as the blade sinks deeper, my heart bleeds more freely. My skin and soul are raw, and the worst part of it? The invisible slash cutting the deepest? Is that Caleb doesn’t even care I’m losing myself. His darkness is pulling me in, and increasingly I can’t seem to find the will to resist. The only thing holding me back from plunging head first is the thought of Jace.
I fucking ache for Jace, but I can't let him see how far I've fallen into the depths of despair and hopelessness. He's the only light in this hell, and even he can't chase away the darkness with his muted glow. I don't want Caleb to destroy that little bit of hope too. The urges come, overwhelming my thoughts and emotions, and I don't bother fighting them anymore. I need something to take the edge off, replacing the emotional turmoil with something physical. At least that's something I can control.
I'm hiding in the master bathroom again with the door locked, and Jace is on the other side pleading with me to open it.
“Mica! Please open the door, I need to see you. I need to know you’re not hurt,” he begs; his voice is cracking with emotion and worry.
Tears stream down my face as my heart burns to open the door, but he can’t see me like this. I can’t bear to let him see how fragile I’ve become...this mess of tears and blood. But there’s a part of me, just a sliver, that wants to reach out and unlock the door, so I can fall into his arms and feel something other than this.
Jace stops me from going totally numb when all I want is to drift away and shut down. Sometimes I wonder whether it would be easier if I could...if I was already dead inside maybe it wouldn't feel like Caleb is cutting out my soul each day. Seeing him makes it harder to remain whole when I’m already on the verge of breaking.
Jace can wipe away my tears, but he’ll never be able to erase the scars both inside and out. I close my eyes and lean back against the tiles with my legs slightly apart, and my arms wrapped around my chest to hold together the broken pieces inside.
Fresh cuts bleed down my arms, and it’s the only pain in my life I'm in control of anymore. Caleb is intent on destruction, and I can't do a thing to stop him. Every time I tell him ‘no’ I'm ignored, no matter how loudly I scream, it doesn’t give him pause. Caleb enjoys it more if I'm vocal, and when I scream louder, the violence he rages on my body ends sooner than when I'm silent. I comply simply to make it easier to endure, but it's never easy, and he never ceases to take as much as he can from me.
25
Jace
Mica seems to think I don't know what she's doing to herself when she's in that fucking bathroom. She keeps hiding from me, and I'm getting tired of it. I understand why she's doing it, of course I do. I need her though; I need to not feel alone in this fucking house of hell when I could be with her. I'm torn straight down the middle between needing to be with her and wanting to protect her by keeping my distance, but I know what this isolation is doing to her...and me.
Every time Caleb leaves, she barricades herself in that fucking room and won't come out until I leave her alone. She can try to hide all she likes, but I’ve seen the truth of it on her skin. I just wish she would let me be there for her. Holding her, so she doesn’t feel quite so suffocated and helping her to breathe just like I promised I would.
I feel like a damn failure I haven't been able to keep her safe from him; he’s still hurting her, and she can't hide it. Although after the last time, I can't put Mica in the line of fire like that again. I worry now she’ll never resurface, and Caleb will succeed in his mission to ruin her in order to punish me. I can only think of one way to get her out, but the thought makes me feel fucking sick to my core because if I fail, then all fucking hell will be let loose. There’ll be no stopping him. Then again, I’m not sure I’ve the strength to bring myself to do it, to put an end to my brother, my last remaining family member.
Mica eventually emerges from the master bathroom, but she won't look at me. I put my hand on her shoulder as she passes me to head downstairs, and when she winces at the contact, I frown.
“He’s not here, Mica. Please talk to me. Fuck, I don’t even know if you’re okay or not. Look, I understand why you do this to yourself, and I can't fault you for that. But I hate that he’s not the only one who’s hurting you.”
She pauses with her back to me and doesn’t answer, but I know she's listening.
"I know when he’s around you need to keep your distance, but when it's just us can you just try? I’m losing my mind. I’m fucking lonely without you. I need our talks, and Caleb isn’t about to strike up a damn conversation with me. We can’t let him take this from us...he’s stolen too much already, and I don’t know how to get it back. I don’t know the way forward, but I don’t want it to be without you," I say, my voice breaking on the last few words as I take a step toward her rigid form.
Mica slowly turns to face me. Her eyes, which are red and swollen, are glistening with unshed tears, and she starts to shake. I take another step toward her, but she doesn't move, just watches me slowly edge closer to her until our bodies touch.
Mica inhales sharply at the contact but thankfully doesn't shy away from me as I lightly trail my fingers down each of her bare arms, elbows to wrists, before gently cupping her face in my hands. I lean forward and ghost my lips over hers, feeling her exhaled breath against my face as I capture her lips with mine.
Mica hesitates, pulling away a fraction before throwing herself into it. Her hands are gripping my arms, and I can feel her nails digging into my skin, but I don't care. This here with Mica is all I've wanted since Caleb brought her home that very first day: Mica wrapped in my arms, kissing me with a fire I'm glad to be scorched by.
26
Mica
I’m dreaming of happier times, back when Caleb and I used to have fun, and he treated me like his girlfriend rather than his toy. I wake up to reality with Caleb pushing his cock into me. I’m half asleep and groggy, and by the time I realize what's happening he's moving inside me with his hand over my mouth, so I can’t scream in protest.
This is something I can never prepare for; how can I shield myself when even in sleep, he won’t let me find peace? Tears escape my eyes from the agony of his brutal entry, and from the fact that with his hand pressed firmly against my lips, I can’t make any more than a muffled sound.
I hate waking up every morning, seeing him wrapped around my body. I’m now aware love isn’t what he wants from me, and it’s not why he’s holding me. He does it, so I can’t run even if I felt able to. He wanted the control, and I foolishly gave it to him. All I’ll do...all I can do, right now, is lie here and wait for him to finish. I barely end that thought, though, before he moves his hand between us and forces a response from my body.
I feel like I'm suffocating under the weight of him; he's more than just pinning me down with his body. I'm trapped under the heaviness of what he's doing to me, taking me over and over whether I want him to or not. Sometimes he makes it feel good, and those times especially, when he’s giving me pleasure as he takes what he wants, strip me of pieces of myself.
This is what's breaking me the most. He knows my body so well, and he uses that to manipulate and make me dance to his goddamned tune. This is his cruelest form of torture, and I don't know what I did to deserve him doing this to me.
When he plays with my clit I can’t stop my pussy clenching and convulsing around him, or the mo
an that builds in my chest. I want to scream at him to stop because I hate what he's doing to me, and I don’t want to be with him anymore. But I don’t even bother to waste my breath. I know nothing will come from voicing these thoughts except more pain.
His fingers squeeze my face, so I open my eyes and look up at him. The malice contorting his features would even scare the soul out of someone who doesn't know what he’s like. He's a monster, wearing my Caleb's face, but it isn't him anymore...if it ever was truly him to begin with. His body jerks roughly against mine, his cock impaling me deeper with every plunge, and then he stills.
I can feel his cock pulsing inside me as he cums and then shudders involuntarily at the aftershock. A smirk lifts his lips, and his eyes flash with something that sends a thrill of foreboding shivering through me. Then I realize what he has done, and my blood runs cold. He didn’t...please no, no, no.
Keeping his hand in place on my mouth he slowly slides his cock out of my pussy. Tears start to fall again as the evidence of his release leaks slowly from my sore unprotected body.
“You’re fucking mine, Mica,” he snarls in my face, “You might think you can escape me, or that Jace will save you. But you’ll never be without me...EVER.”
I haven’t been able to visit the clinic to get my prescription for the pill. When I saw I was running out of them last week, I begged Caleb to let me get it renewed, but he ignored me. I didn’t know what had changed, or why he wouldn’t let me get them, but I do now. When we first started sleeping together and he found out I was on the pill we agreed to forgo the condoms. It never mattered to me before as I’ve always been diligent with taking the pill, but without it...
Caleb drives the knife firmly into my soul, fracturing the last few pieces of me when he moves his hands from my mouth and down my frozen body, coming to rest on my stomach. He wants this and has decided I have to give it to him. Although I don't want to, it's no longer my choice. Caleb gets up and leaves, closing the door quietly behind him. I curl up into a ball, and agonizing sobs wrack my entire body while his cum continues to trickle out of me.
27
Jace
Caleb left again this morning, I heard the front door shut, but it wasn't the usual slam that shakes the house. At first, I thought it might have been Mica as I hadn't heard the bedroom door close either, but I saw Caleb through the window heading toward his car. He looked almost pleased, smug even. I frown, worry pulling my eyebrows together as I immediately leave my room to go and check on Mica.
When I find her, I don't even know what to do to make it better. She's in their bathroom, but the door is ajar, so I enter. Mica is sitting in the bath, desperately scrubbing her body clean as though trying to wash away everything that’s happened to her.
She seems to realize I'm standing there and stiffens before leaning against the side of the bath, collapsing with gut-wrenching cries. Rushing over to her, I wrap my arms around her wet body, and when she turns into me, her tears instantly soak into my now damp t-shirt.
I look her over, taking inventory of the fading bruises on the skin around her throat, wrists, and hips. Then I notice that her pussy is bare and looks sore. I don’t need to ask her how it happened because I already know it was Caleb’s doing. Small red clouds float in the water between her legs.
I see the razor-blade sitting on the edge of the bath, and carefully move it to the side unit, which holds their toiletries. I brush a few wet strands of hair out of her eyes with my finger and gently tuck them behind her ear.
"I'm here now...I've got you," I murmur softly to her. "I'll let you finish up, and then we'll get out of this fucking room."
Mica nods; the depth of sorrow in her eyes when they meet mine fucking yanks at the strings in my chest. As Mica slowly stands up, her eyes land on the cold steel blade I moved away from her. I hand her a towel, which she uses to dry off, hissing sharply as she carefully dabs at the mutilated skin between her legs. Blood stains the material from the fresh cuts overlaying the old and scarred wounds on her thighs as she gently pats them dry.
When she's done I strip off my t-shirt, passing it to her to wear, so she doesn't get cold. It's damp, but it'll shield her body from the cool air and return some of her dignity. She falters for a moment but takes it, pulling the material over her head, and I can't help the tiny smile that escapes me at the sight of her in my clothes.
Mica sees it and returns a smile so faint it's barely a ghost on her lips. A gasp escapes from her mouth when I pick her up, making sure to be mindful of her legs. I'll bandage them up, but not here, not in this room where she has only experienced the horror and pain Caleb gives to her instead of love.
I carry her through the bedroom, pausing to grab some of her clothes on the way out since Caleb won’t react well to Mica wearing my stuff. I have to bite down on my anger when I see the mussed bed sheets and the small reddish stains on them. I hold her a little more closely to me as I take her to one of the only places in the house he hasn’t tainted. My room.
I set Mica down on the bed, “Wait here, I’m just going to get the first aid kit.”
When I get back, she's fast asleep, and her breathing is deep and even. Guilt bites me with the thought this is probably the safest she has felt since Caleb started controlling absolutely everything about her life. I place a soft kiss on her forehead and then open the kit. Pulling out the bandages, I get to work wrapping up her legs. Mica doesn't even stir while I'm taking care of her wounds, which luckily aren't very deep. They won't need stitches, but they’ll probably scar, adding to the spider’s web of marks already carved in silver and red on her pale skin.
28
Mica
I jolt awake from a nightmare, screaming until I feel a hand on my shoulder. I jerk away from the touch, not wanting Caleb’s hands on me. Asleep or awake, when he touches me the nightmare he forces me to live in every day continues.
A hand presses lightly over my mouth to muffle the screaming as a soothing voice shushes me, trying to calm me down. When I realize it's Jace, relief floods through me, and I fight to regain control of myself, so I can listen and try to relax.
“It’s just me...it’s Jace.”
I’m struggling to slow my breathing while trying to shake off the nightmare and the shock. I focus on Jace, but the unfamiliar surroundings grab my attention. My eyes dart around the room, taking in the faded blue walls, the cluttered dresser, the unmade bed I'm lying on, and then Jace sitting there next to me, shirtless. I look away, closing my eyes and trying to ignore the ache inside my chest that I feel when he's around.
“Are you going to be alright?” he asks quietly.
I nod, not wanting to answer him. I need to get out of here because Caleb won’t tolerate me being in Jace’s room. I sit up, and horror fills my chest when I see the bandages wrapped around my legs and realize I’m still wearing nothing but Jace’s t-shirt.
Caleb is going to kill me. I’m lucky he hasn’t already found me.
“How long have I been asleep?” I ask, my throat closing with fear.
“Not long, about twenty minutes. You were asleep by the time I got back in here with the bandages.”
“I need to go back to Caleb’s room,” I mutter to myself, but Jace hears it.
“Wait, he won’t be back for a while yet. You can relax and spend a little time with me. I’ve missed you,” he says, his voice tapering off as he finishes.
My heart thrums at his words, and I can't help it. This feeling is almost foreign to me now, and I can barely remember what it is anymore. I shake my head and standing on wobbly legs, I take a step away, but Jace gets up and grabs my hand.
“Wait. Please, just for a little while?” he pleads with me.
I scrunch my face up because I so want to, but if Caleb catches us we are both screwed, and it'll be entirely my fault for giving in. I try to pull my hand out of his, and when he doesn't let me, I turn to argue with him, but the look on his face stops me. He looks as broken as I feel inside; his inner torment is s
plashed across his features, and my heart twists. Before I can even think about the consequences of what I'm doing, I walk into Jace's outstretched arms with my hand still enveloped in his.
Jace wraps his other arm around me, pulling me close to him. The gentle way he holds me snaps something inside of me, and I break down, crying into his bare chest. He pulls me down onto the bed, and I sit on his lap, clinging to him like he's my life preserver.
We stay like that for a while, and when I finally calm down, and the tears stop, I feel his body shaking against me. Leaning back, I look up at him, and shock flows through me at the sight of the tears that are streaming down his face while he shakes with silent sobs.
29
Jace
Something about the way this beautiful and broken woman holds onto me while she shatters in my arms reaches inside my chest, sucking the strength right out of me. I feel myself start to crack, but I try to hold it in, knowing she needs me to be her rock. I can't keep it locked away much longer, though, and I feel myself slipping right along with her.
When Mica looks up at me with those puffy blue eyes of hers and sees the tears trickling down my face, her expression is one of shock and amazement. Then she does something I’m sure neither of us expects, she leans forward and kisses a tear on my cheek. When she pulls back, I move toward her, snatching the teardrop from her lips with mine and turn to lay her down on my bed.