Fractured Darkness Page 3
Hours later, I stumble through the front door, landing face first on the hallway carpet. I chuckle weakly at my own foolishness, using my foot to push the door closed from my new home on the floor. My head is spinning, so I close my eyes to try and make it stop.
I’m just starting to drift off when I hear light footsteps coming down the stairs, and a soft voice just above me asks quietly, “Jace? What the hell?”
Forcing my eyes to open, I blink away the blurriness, and I see Mica standing above me with a frown on her pretty face. I smile at her, feeling my loose face muscles twist into probably the cheesiest grin I've ever given. She sighs and bends down, presumably to try and help me up. I pull away, and her lips pinch into a tight line. She moves closer again, and I try to shuffle away, but the wall stops me. Mica wraps her small hands around my arm and tugs, pulling at me with a strength that surprises me. I groan and use my other arm to push myself up from the floor until I'm upright, but swaying in place.
I feel my legs start to give way, and Mica rushes around to the front of me to try and stop me falling again, but I go down. This time taking her with me. We land with a thump on the floor, my body on top of her, pinning her beneath my drunken weight. My mind clears for a moment...the haze fading a little at the sensation of her warm body pressed so firmly against mine. I blink, staring down at her. Mica’s face is pale in the darkness, and the faint light shining through the windows illuminates her features enough for me to see her confused yet expectant expression.
She no doubt expects me to move, but I don't want to. I'm right where I've been dreaming of being for the past year. Ever since that very first time Caleb brought her home. Mica's eyes narrow, and then widen in shock and surprise at my hardening cock, which is now digging into her.
She looks suddenly wary. “Jace, you need to move.”
My head starts swirling again, but I don't lose my focus from her, and I can't help inching my face closer to hers.
“Jace, what are you...?” I cut her off, slamming my lips against hers, tasting her, breathing her in, and sealing both our fates.
11
Mica
I’m frozen in place beneath Jace whose lips are currently pressed to mine in a surprisingly skillful kiss. Even though he's drunk and it was an accident, he shouldn’t be pinning me to the floor, let alone kissing me. I should stop this.
But the feel of him against me, his hardening cock pushing between my thighs, and the denim of his pants rubbing against the scabbed-over cuts on my legs, sends a delicious sting coursing through me. I barely manage to stifle the moan of pain trying to leave my chest. Shame fills me as heat rushes downward to where he’s between my legs, and arousal dampens the bare skin of my thighs.
My cheeks heat, and I push at him, trying to move his heavy body off mine. I can’t do this, especially not with him. I’m with Caleb, and this, right here, can’t happen. I’m just going to put it down to his drunken mistake and pretend nothing occurred.
Managing to shift him a little, I quickly wriggle out from beneath him. He watches me with unfocused and haunted eyes as I leave him where he is on the hallway floor and go back to bed. Scampering quietly up the stairs, my socked feet make no noise on the carpet. I’m hyperaware of my arousal, and the way my bare thighs brush together beneath Caleb’s long shirt. Jace shouldn’t be able to elicit that kind of reaction from me. Caleb didn’t even stir through the whole thing, and I’m thankful he didn’t see what just happened. I lie there awake for a little while, staring into the darkness, wondering what ghosts are haunting Jace, and what put them there in the first place.
The next morning, things feel...different. Not in any obvious way but subtly. When I come downstairs to make coffee, Jace is noticeably absent from the hallway floor. I bite my lip while looking at the spot where he kissed me, and I pause, remembering the feel of his lips on mine. I shake it off, frowning.
Confusion sweeps through my mind like a dust cloud, obliterating everything I ever thought I knew about him. I honestly believed he hated me, but after last night, I’m not so sure. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, resolving to do what I promised myself last night. To pretend it never happened.
Caleb walks up behind me and kisses me on the cheek as I stand in the kitchen, looking out of the window while I wait for the coffee machine to finish. I lean into him, so my back is pressed against his chest with a smile on my face and my eyes closed. When he wraps his arms around me, I feel complete as though I'm not breaking apart at the seams, and my scars aren't the mirror image of the cracks in my heart.
I feel the air in the room change as heavy footsteps approach, and my heart stutters in my chest. I turn in Caleb’s arms and press my lips against his, molding myself to his hard body. I feel him smile against my mouth while his hands find my hips and squeeze, digging his fingers into the sensitive skin in a way that sets me alight.
I moan softly into his mouth and pull away with a giggle. “Morning.”
I feel his eyes on me as I turn and carry on making coffee, but I sense they aren’t the only ones burning into me right now, and I don’t quite know what to make of that.
12
Jace
Sometimes I feel like my own sanity is hanging by a thread, but I’m holding onto that damn strand for dear fucking life. I have my secrets and needs that want to be sated. The demons inside my mind are starving although unlike Caleb, I don’t let mine loose, so they don’t get fed. I fight them back and grind them down, but they never leave me.
When I see Mica all over Caleb in the kitchen, after my drunken episode the night before, it makes my already aching head feel ten times worse. If I wasn’t desperate for the coffee I smelled brewing, I'd turn right around and go back to bed.
Mica sees me standing there, and her body stiffens against the countertop. I can see the tension flowing through her at my presence as her eyes dart to Caleb who is thankfully too busy eating to notice the exchange. She looks worried though. Did she tell him what happened? I don't remember too much about last night, but the feel of Mica beneath me is burned into my skin and soul. Caleb's threat rockets around my already pounding head, and I have to fight down panic. Painkillers and coffee...that's what I need right now.
Grabbing a fresh coffee and a couple of painkillers, I swallow the tablets dry before taking a sip. I rub my head with my hand, closing my eyes against the sun, which is peeking through the window and stabbing them with its beams of light.
Mica clears her throat, drawing my attention and Caleb's. "I was...um...thinking that as we’re all here, we should talk about our situation."
Caleb’s eyes narrow before he turns to me with a suspicious look in them. I shake my head and shrug, attempting to indicate I’m confused. Which I am.
“I’ve been thinking maybe we should all spend some more time together, rather than it being just Caleb and me.”
I'm sure the look I currently have on my face is one of absolute horror. There is no fucking way Caleb will agree to it. What's going through her head? To my astonishment, Caleb smiles at her and nods before locking eyes with me. It's then that I see it, the darkness swirling around in the depths. Mica can't see the look on his face right now...the sinister and smug grin currently twisting his features making my blood run cold.
She didn't have to tell him about last night, he already fucking knows. A storm is coming, and I hope we're ready for it because Caleb is the kind of hurricane that shows no signs of stopping once he starts. Even I can't control my psychopath of a brother when he's on a rampage. I usually just hold on, staying out of his line of fire. Unfortunately for Mica and me, we're in his sights, and instead of facing a firing squad, it's Caleb.
13
Mica
I feel like I'm suffocating in my own body. Darkness stains the corners of my vision, and it feels like I'm drowning. I was going to suggest the guys spend more time together, but for some reason, it came out as all of us. What the fuck? And now it seems to have had the opposite effect from the one
I wanted because the air in the room has gotten heavy and thick with tension. The two brothers are staring at each other, and Jace looks wary and almost afraid.
Jace's eyes flash briefly to mine, and the deep fear in them sends a shiver down my spine. A burst of anxiety settles in my chest, but I don’t let it show on my face. Caleb’s head snaps around to regard Jace, and then I see the smirk lifting his lips as his gaze once again turns and fixates on me. His expression is dark and ravenous. My breathing slows under his scrutiny. He’s a flat, calm, dark ocean whereas my emotions are in turmoil. His body’s relaxed, but his eyes are promising me pain, and my panties dampen with anticipation. I crave the pain he gives me, allowing me to breathe and live. Pain is my elixir.
I ignore Jace and move over to Caleb, sitting in his lap, wanting him to deliver on his promise. His arms move around me instantly, gripping me possessively. It's different though, the way he's holding and touching me. One hand moves up to my throat and the other scratches down the front of my body to my thighs.
I whimper at the sensations washing over me, my eyes falling closed. He squeezes harder, restricting my breathing, and his fingernails press into my healing cuts, sending a sharp pain tingling through my body. I can't move in his hold, and when he draws his fingers slowly upwards, I open my eyes to watch their progress, startled at the sight of blood on Caleb's nails. My blood.
Caleb's hand around my throat loosens slightly, but he doesn't relinquish his hold. When his fingers reach the edge of my panties, I let out a moan, and before I can even think about it, they’re inside my pussy.
With his voice harsh and quiet, Caleb breathes into my ear, "Do you like the way I hurt you, baby?"
I nod, but he tuts at me, “I want to hear you say it. Open your eyes and look at my brother, then fucking say it.”
So caught up in Caleb, what he’s doing to me, and how he makes me feel, I’d forgotten Jace was still in the room. Tears fill my eyes as I look at Jace whose pain-filled gaze is directly on me. Shock rips through me as realization hits: he never hated me at all...he was jealous.
14
Jace
I want to look away, but the sight of her tears pin me in place. Caleb hasn't stopped moving his fingers inside her, and I can see in her eyes what it's doing to her.
On a shaky exhale, her soft voice stabs me in the chest as she cries out, "I like the way you hurt me, Caleb!"
Caleb’s face twists with triumph, but I can barely see it. I’m too enthralled by the way Mica is unraveling in front of me. She’s stunning in her release. I take in her lightly pinked cheeks, the way her body shudders, and the rise and fall of her breasts with every breath.
Mica’s eyes close, and the tears slide slowly down her cheeks. Caleb leans forward, so his face is directly next to hers and carefully licks them from her skin. I’ve had enough. Without a word, I turn on my heels and leave. I make my way upstairs and on entering my room, I slam the bedroom door shut behind me. The look of rapture on Mica’s face as she came is etched into my mind, and her words are carved into my soul.
Darkness threatens to sweep over me, itching to claim that last untainted part of my being. I fight it back and stamp it down. I won’t be like him. No matter what he does to try and make me be like him. My big brother isn't who I want to be. The first time I realized how much alike we are, I fucking puked, I was so disgusted with myself. I couldn’t change it though...I couldn’t change that deep down I crave some of the same things he does.
Nine Years Ago...
“Caleb!” I call out as I come bursting through the front door of our house.
Mom is out shopping for groceries, and we're alone again. It seems like these days she's out buying groceries a lot but doesn't ever bring them home. She's hardly here anymore, and it gets lonely. Caleb is fifteen now and doesn't want to play with me much anymore, he's always spending time in his room, shouting at me to go away when I try to go in there.
Things feel different these days...more confusing. The school says it’s to do with puberty, and our bodies changing when it occurs. It’s happening to me: my voice isn’t quite the same anymore, and my body feels strange. It’s as if an alien is taking over and making weird stuff happen to me.
“Caleb?” I ask, standing outside his bedroom door.
“Go away!” Caleb answers, his voice is also deeper than it was a couple of years ago.
I don’t go away, though, because I want him to come and play basketball with me. There’s an old hoop on the side of the house with no net, but it’s no fun playing by myself.
I ignore him and open the door, walking straight into his bedroom.
“Get the fuck out, Jace!” he shouts, but I don’t listen to him.
I’m transfixed by the video playing on his computer screen of a man and a woman who are naked and having sex. It’s not like how they explained it in Sex Ed at all. His cock isn’t in her vagina...it’s in her ass! And the man has his hands around her throat.
Although he’s hurting her, she isn’t stopping him. She’s crying and at the same time she’s moaning. Everything in this strange video is doing things to me I don’t understand. But I don’t get the chance to ask Caleb about it because the next thing I know he’s grabbing me by the arm so hard I cry out and shoving me from his bedroom.
“Stay the fuck away from my room, Jace, and if you tell Mom what you just saw, I’ll make sure you regret it,” he threatens.
The door slams shut in my face, and I run to my room, suddenly afraid of my brother and what he might do. The look on his face was the scariest thing I’ve ever seen.
Caleb has gone out. Curiosity gets the better of me, and I find myself sneaking back into his room. I want to know what he’s doing in here. What could be so interesting he spends all of his time in here when he’s not out with his girlfriend?
Switching on his computer, I wait for it to boot up and throw furtive glances over my shoulder the whole time, checking to make sure he’s not behind me. With the way he’s been acting, I really don’t want to get caught snooping. When it’s loaded up, I start clicking through his folders, and his web search history. What I see both terrifies me and turns me on at the same time. There are photos and videos like the one I caught him watching a few days ago; some are even worse than the one I saw with all sorts of strange things that intrigue, sicken, and excite me, but I can’t seem to stop scrolling.
The longer I look, the more bewildered and alarmed I feel while the hardening of my dick in my jeans is confusing. Why am I reacting this way? This stuff can’t be normal? The sound of the front door hitting the wooden frame makes me jump, and the blood drains from my face. Hurriedly shutting down the computer, I bolt for my room. For once, grateful Caleb has a penchant for slamming doors.
All too aware of the ache in my dick, I peek through my door, and when I hear Caleb’s bedroom door close, I slip out onto the landing and make my way to the bathroom. On entering, I lock the door and pull myself out. The images I saw earlier flood my mind, and I clumsily chase the release I’m desperate for. When I finally reach it, I’m so overcome with disgust at what I’ve done I spend the next half hour puking my guts up, wondering what the hell is wrong with me.
I won't deny I want Mica; I want to be the one who makes her cry out as I dish out servings of pleasure tinged with the pain she desires. Caleb though? He doesn't know when to stop, and he doesn't want to anyway. He knows I want her, and he knows what I did to her the other night in my drunken state. To him it doesn't matter I was drunk; I touched what he sees as his. I've fucked it up for us both, and Mica has no fucking clue what she's in for now.
Throwing myself down on the bed, I stare at the ceiling with fear, anger, and regret swirling in my stomach, threatening to escape. I close my eyes to the melody of Mica’s screams of pain and pleasure, which echo through the house as Caleb takes what I want, once again. I groan and roll over, burying my face in my pillow, and attempt to block it all out.
I can’t lose my fucking head right n
ow. I need to stay focused if I’m going to get us out of this mess I’ve made. Knowing my brother like I do, this is only the beginning. There’s no stopping him when he gets like this. Somehow I have to protect Mica, but I don’t know how I’ll manage it. It’s going to get worse from this point on, and I can only hope we make it out before he viciously shreds us both to pieces.
15
Caleb
The little shit knows what's coming. Jace now knows I'm fully aware of what happened last night between him and my girl. She didn't initiate it, but I don't care. He fucking knew what I'd do and drunk or not, he shouldn't have done it. I'm going to squeeze every ounce of pain I can from the two of them to make them both pay the damn price for his actions.
I'm sure he’s wondering just how I found out. The truth is I heard him crash through the front door, drunk off his ass, and when Mica went to see what the commotion was all about, I followed. She doesn't know I saw him kiss her. I saw how she squirmed when he had her pinned to the floor with his body where mine belongs...right between her thighs.
Naïve little Mica believes I love her, but really she's just a plaything. Someone for me to hurt who willingly takes it. She gets off on the little doses of pain I give her, but she has no fucking idea what real pain is. I can, and I will make her fucking hurt because I know how much it kills Jace that I have her, and it’s me who makes her scream and cry out at the top of her lungs.